i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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