How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I am available for nakedness
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
