we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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