I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize