you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
