U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
