i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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