there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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