Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
