Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Is Oprah even human
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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