everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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