Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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