Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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