vagina is talking i cant
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
