For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
