he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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