I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
