Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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