Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
