I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
