if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
