using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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