yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
one might say we're banned from that church
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
