You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
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