You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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