I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
