Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think my moral compass just broke
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
