This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
