this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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