dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
