DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
