The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
