that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.