Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
