we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
