why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize