anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
