he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
