porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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