you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
