Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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