you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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