my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
