she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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