Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
