I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
