barbara walters just said penis...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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