I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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