let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
