I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
