sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
