So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
