I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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