..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
