Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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