I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
