You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize